time

Time does not heal the wound. It will although, in it's most merciful way, blunt the edge ever so slightly....

In some ways I have never felt this despaired ... though the pain lingers, I cant help but play and rewind it in my mind the memories... Most of the time now i doubt if he really did love me... Its sad though because my mind and heart has this love and hate relationship with the memoirs of him....

It saddened me more of how things went so wrong... cutting connections with him, i thought would make me feel better, forget him, or maybe will soothe the pain... cutting him out too i thought would be a good retaliation as his payment for hurting me so badly....

Thus all i have now are regrets.... I shouldnt have cut him out... i shouldnt... i shouldnt...

I shun everyone... i dont know why sometimes i punish myself and be alone and just go drown in my own despair...

Im regretting it with much greatness... so much... and i keep telling myself i lost him... now, i truly did and i cant do anything about it...

i was incosiderate... and just wants to hurt everyone... i guess its this way, i wanted to hurt him so he will feel the hurt im feeling...

i was cruel and inconsiderate to him too... i was stupid... very idiotic behaviour....

but you know wot, wots more stupid is even if im hurting so deeply.... i still love him... love him deeply like the first moment i felt it...

they say time heals... but i reckon, whoever created that just wants us to believe that he's really doing fine.... im unconvinced.... coz wot im feeling now, is unfathomable pain....