a month to go and i will be officially a volunteer who doesnt have any wage to reap.... tell me, is it a reason to get depress at 23 going 24, who worked 2 years and no savings at all?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! im so getting depress now... way subzero depress... i get very insecure.... very jealous to people who used to exist in my past... well they still exist actually, just their role in my life changed... i know im being greedy and all... i still dont know now how to classify whats real and a dream i guess... i used to be so happy and alive... :( i dreamt like a kid and wishing upon the stars... but now, its all fading... i dont know really what to dream or my used to be dreams...
technically, i think im a messed up lost soul... for some reason, i feel like im blindfolded and just walking straight to a wall.... *sigh*
this situation i am right now with someone, i couldnt be sure now if its right... if its convenient... but it keeps distracting me.... it has been going on for months.... and im happy, but, there are some emotional insecurities that needs filling up ... i am a bit scared though that if i ask for more, what if the greed i have is still unfathomable?! and if this is the thing i really want to ask from him.... *contemplating* no not the 4 letter word... never said it for a long time and im doubtful if im feeling that again... well more infatuation i reckon!
for the nth time, i would never get fed up with Harry Potter movies and books... so far, my ipod helps me in getting into slumber and the most frequently played now is:
#1 Insomnia - Craig David
#2 Lovegame - Lady gaga
#3 Welcome to Heartbreak - Kanye West
#4 Mary Janes Shoes - Fergie
#5 Use Somebody - Kings of Leaon
#6 not fair - Lily Allen
Cheers lovers!
listening to : please don't leave me - Pink
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